Back at the end of November, I ordered a new guide to plan my business. The guide, Map Your Business by Tara Swiger, arrived this Monday. Today, I plan to immerse myself in this planning process. However, as I scanned the book on Monday, I noticed that one of the things that she asks the reader to do is pick a word for the year. I’ve been considering what that word should be and warring with myself a little as I chose it, but here it is:

Balance.

The Light of Home

As I have moved into this place where I am working from home, I am finding that I need to find balance – balance between my compelling work as a writer and knitting designer and my compelling being with my family, home, and friends.

Both spaces are filled with people and things and feelings that I love. When I am working, I feel guilty for not being with Stephanie. When I am relaxing with Steph, I feel guilty for not writing (I don’t have to feel guilty about not knitting – I’m always knitting!). Right now, my office space is in the middle of the living area. When people get up and start being in the world, I resent them for moving into my space. Then, I feel guilty for not being happy to see everyone and rejoicing in the fact that we are all together and awake now.  I resent myself for allowing the distraction to pull my focus.  Guilt raises its head again when my family wants to have a tea party and all I can think about is how much I want to get done today instead of enjoying the time together.  Finally, I get excited for that moment when I have an office where I can close the door.

Of course, I’m a little afraid that I will walk into that room and lose track of time and miss out on all of the fabulous people and pets who are my family.  And I’m a little afraid that I won’t close the door in fear of missing out on that and not put the work in for my business to succeed.

I’m so lucky that Steph married me before I became this mess of a person.

I want to find peace in both areas. I want to celebrate the moment. I want to find the balance, the sweet spot, between work and family.

So, that is my word for the year for myself. Balance.

For my business, the word is growth. For my family, the word is home.

Three words of the year.

I guess I really am a writer.