Why I Disappeared for a Week


Me & My Sweetie, 2014On Sunday the 17th, my sweetie had a stroke.

It’s quite a long story with lots of silly side stories, but here’s the nutshell.

Her left side was numb but has regained some feeling – enough that she can move her left limbs with intent. They are still really weak and she also has difficulty processing images on the left side.

She got moved to rehab on Wednesday and they are planning to have her there for 2-3 weeks to get her ready to send home. She’s looking at a full recovery, but it’s going to take some time. For now, she improves a little each day and I celebrate each small victory.

Also, I promise that I’m taking care of myself too!

Now, one silly side story:

On Tuesday, I came home from the hospital. I stopped by Barb’s to pick up Ty, grabbed a comforting box of McNuggets (no judging! I’m in distress), and then drove home in the dark.

When I opened the door of the car, Ty leaped out and dove into the darkness. It’s a usual pattern. She’ll run about and have a good unrestricted poo in the yard before returning to the house. I didn’t worry and headed up the steps.

The cats zipped through my feet as I walked through the doorway, leaving the door wide open to allow Ty to return. Unwilling to venture too far from a potential supper, the kitties hung out on the deck.

My God! Doesn’t she know we’re hungry?!

I began grabbing cans and spoons and dry food to construct all the pets’ dinner. Ty returned to the house and took her space by her food bowl.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dolce, the tortoiseshell kitty, crouched by the counter and focused on something I couldn’t see. For sure, a mouse. She brought a mouse into the house. That was the last thing I needed.

I leaned in to save the poor thing and suddenly six bajillion legs attached to a sticklike body FLEW up at me! FLEW! The damn thing was at least six inches long and looked similar to a praying mantis.

I began to yell, “BIG BUG! BIG BUG! Get out of my house!” The cats continued to pursue their pray through the kitchen, trapping it between the refrigerator and a cabinet. Thwarted, they returned to the deck.

“BIG BUG! BIG BUG! Get out of my house!” I ran for a kitchen towel.

“BIG BUG! BIG BUG! Get out of my house!” I flung the towel into the space and dragged the bug across the floor (continuously screaming my new mantra), finally flinging it through the door onto the deck in between the kitties.

I closed the door quickly as both cats began to advance upon the wriggling beastie in the towel.

Whew.

Now I just had to get the towel back.

I put together dinner for the cats and the dog. I opened the door to find the towel lying on the deck, the bug still entangled. I carefully picked up the towel and flung the bug off the deck into the darkness.

Ew. Just ew.

My sweetie and I have a deal: I clean up all of the animal effluvium; she ejects the bugs and mice and dead beings from our home. Now I get to manage both.

I’m so hating this new deal.

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