lesbian


Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Drunk Nostalgia

I have a place that I like to go and remember the special moments of my life. I call it “the liquor cabinet.” All of my liquor (NOT the wine and beer) sits on top of my refrigerator. I know I read somewhere that you should never store your liquor […]

Drunk Nostalgia

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Pro-“Grass”-Tination Blues

Every year, we have a moment where the snow melts and the earth begins to smell again. Not in a bad way, simply that dirt smell we lose when the ground freezes. Just past Easter, the ski mountain closes and green grass miraculously takes the place of the snow. Crocuses […]

Pro-"Grass"-Tination Blues

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Perk of the Lifestyle

I am a housewyfe. I am not a mother. I know that, for many, these two concepts intertwine so synonymously that saying you are a housewyfe means that you are a full-time mother. I may look motherly, but I lost my figure to pie and cookies and homemade jam. I […]

Perk of the Lifestyle

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: The Sparkle Darkly Silver Lining

Each Independence Day follows a certain ritual. My honey-bunny and I wake up, get dressed and go downtown to peruse our little town’s annual Fourth of July parade. The giant bull, the local arts camp’s musical number, infinite horses ridden by rodeo queens and cowboys, the old stagecoach, the convertible […]

Fireworks, July 3rd, 2013

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Mitzvot?

A couple of years ago, Stephanie and I got invited to a “Seder and Kugel Cookoff” for Passover. Like good little gentiles (Lesbian Law #6: “Celebrate diversity in all its forms.”), we did extensive research on the internet and our cookbook archive for recipes. We settled on two, one matzoh […]

The Bear Entered Stage Left

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: A Short Explanation on Husbynds & Wyves

One day this past summer, I sat in a friend’s home watching my lovely wyfe and our lovely hostesses bustle about the kitchen and make dinner. It is not often that the Lesbian Housewyfe gets a break and this one was blissful! I reclined on a couch in the living […]

A Short Explanation on Husbynds & Wyves

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Guide to Surviving Sporting Events

At the tender age of nine, in a futile attempt to fit in with my classmates, I begged and pestered my poor parents until they agreed to trot me down to the old ball field and sign me up for softball. They spent the remainder of their summer dragging me […]

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Guide to Surviving Sporting Events

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Change of Address

Moving is traumatic. I wish I could soften this blow somehow, but even the Lesbian Housewyfe has to admit that uprooting your entire household and taking it somewhere else, even if it is just next door, is not as easy as we all wish. Whether you have a truckload full […]

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Change of Address

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Gift of the Magi?

Christmas, for the lovely Lesbian Housewyfe, seems to be a turbulent time. For instance, as a people, Americans spend the time leading up to that day of good cheer diving into shopping malls and factory outlet stores, desperately searching for the perfect gift for everyone on their little Christmas lists. […]

Gift of the Magi?

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: The Party Guide

Recently, the lovely Lesbian Housewyfe faced a common situation: my wonderful wyfe came home and, as she walked through the door, said, “How about we give a party?” I considered a moment, realizing that this could transform two days of my quiet life into total chaos in exchange for a […]

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: The Party Guide