Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Drunk Nostalgia

I have a place that I like to go and remember the special moments of my life. I call it “the liquor cabinet.” All of my liquor (NOT the wine and beer) sits on top of my refrigerator. I know I read somewhere that you should never store your liquor […]

Drunk Nostalgia

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Perk of the Lifestyle

I am a housewyfe. I am not a mother. I know that, for many, these two concepts intertwine so synonymously that saying you are a housewyfe means that you are a full-time mother. I may look motherly, but I lost my figure to pie and cookies and homemade jam. I […]

Perk of the Lifestyle

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: A Short Explanation on Husbynds & Wyves

One day this past summer, I sat in a friend’s home watching my lovely wyfe and our lovely hostesses bustle about the kitchen and make dinner. It is not often that the Lesbian Housewyfe gets a break and this one was blissful! I reclined on a couch in the living […]

A Short Explanation on Husbynds & Wyves

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Gift of the Magi?

Christmas, for the lovely Lesbian Housewyfe, seems to be a turbulent time. For instance, as a people, Americans spend the time leading up to that day of good cheer diving into shopping malls and factory outlet stores, desperately searching for the perfect gift for everyone on their little Christmas lists. […]

Gift of the Magi?

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Clearing Out Before the Fall

Ahh, spring cleaning. A wonderful tradition dating back to the dawn of mankind. Me? I gave it up years ago. The tradition basically ended with the dawn of womankind. The whole idea gives me the creeps. The lovely Lesbian Housewyfe’s relieving factor is, of course, Lesbian Law #20: Household duties […]

Clearing Out Before the Fall

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: When Icons Collide

I love popular culture. Well, really, by definition, everybody loves popular culture. I mean, otherwise it wouldn’t be popular, would it? Like June Cleaver, some of us are destined to become a part of popular culture. Like me, some of us are destined to just enjoy it. Pop culture happenings […]

When Icons Collide

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: Springtime Makeovers

I am sitting in the sun in a ragged piece of lawn furniture. The brick red paint is chipping off the soft wood and the pillow which kindly softens the slatted backrest and woven seat has lost gobs of its stuffing. I don’t care. The rays from the sun are […]

Springtime Makeover

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: She’s a Working Girl

By now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “Well, that little baby dyke ‘Lesbian Housewyfe’ is just a Generation X slacker who’s trying to cover up her lack of a job by turning her life into a series of anecdotes.” Not quite, Charlie. I don’t just stay at home even though that […]

She's a Working Girl

Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe: The Basic Model

Back in 1995, I began my writing journey with my “Diary of a Lesbian Housewyfe” essays. For the next several weeks, I’m going to #TBThursday with one of these essays. Let’s start the journey with The Basic Model. *** Hello. My name is LA Bourgeois. I am a Lesbian Housewyfe. I don’t know […]

The Basic Model